By Andrea Corey
Usually it starts in 2nd to 3rd grade. You might get a comment from a teacher on focus, lack of effort, or being a little slower than others. Maybe its observations on the need for excessive repetition of instructions that comes up at a parent teacher conference, but you are reassured that there is a wide range of “normal” for this age and with reinforcement at home, there is nothing to worry about.
Then comes the mounting frustration at home. Maybe its the pretending to read and comprehend the chapter books peers are reading, tears with every assignment, or avoidance all the way around – your inner parent voice knows it’s above their level and they are getting lost – they should be progressing faster. And why are they NOT on level – what is wrong?!
Fourth grade and Fifth grade ISTEP comes back and your child doesn’t pass one or more areas of the test. They are officially behind. NOW they can get support, but they are already on average 2 grade levels behind in one or more subjects. Homework is frustrating, takes hours of parent support, and some students become exhausted and often angry (at self or school or both). Self-esteem takes a blow. Fight or flight begins.
Then parents start looking. What is out there, what will help my child, I can’t do it all alone… it’s too much to handle without more support. Doubt and fear of the future preoccupy thoughts.
Early in my journey I once wrote, “I feel like I have been given a couple toothpicks and I’m told to build a house.” Like everything I need is in front of me, so why can’t I make it work for my child. Read out loud to your child, sound out words together, expose them to rich vocabulary, make it fun, they will pick it up!
But they don’t . They need something different.
The journey for parents of children with learning disabilities can lead to a constant search for the “right thing” – something that works. A path removed from just survival mode. Then you learn you’re not crazy, there are means out there available to you. There are supplies, helpers, mentors, that have all traveled a similar path. Nothing is perfect, but you’re presented with the option of community and hope, and learning. Friends, laughter, tears, understanding, and words of hope, methods that work within this community for you AND your child – worth millions to the soul – and to success. It is out there.
Hi there.
I just wanted to thank you for this understanding and empathetic article. I was diagnosed with Dyslexia only a year ago (juts before my final exams at university no less) and to be honest, whilst it has significantly affected my academic life, I’ve achieved so much because of the way I think and my approach to different things. I’ve won awards in my life because of what I believe to be due to my DYslexia. I wish you luck in inspiring and reassuring those with learning difficulties that they are not inferior, only different, unique, in an incredibly positive way.
I’m inspired to write about this in my own blog. 🙂
Thanks for your note! Good luck with your university studies!